
Ah, Halloween. It's over so quickly, isn't it? For the hacks, it's an absolutely brilliant night, because it gaurantees a plethora of scantily-clad women that they can talk about and display pictures of, ad infinitum. But, as you are already no doubt aware, being a highbrow news service we must rise above all this nonsense. Instead, we bring you the stuff that really matters, like all the latest on the mid-term elections and the most recent updates on the attempted bombing of two cargo planes. However, since Obama can't make a statement for us just yet and we missed Scotland Yard's hourly phone call due to an excruciatingly close game of ping pong, we'll bring you this for now.

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