Eva Longoria wants to be stalked

Just how much would you pay for any sort of contact with Eva Longoria? Go on, give us a figure. Well, what if we told you some have been giving up to $1000 for the cyber privilege of being followed by or tweeted at by the sexy Desperate Housewives star? Now, we should say these are not just some crazy desperadoes with a particularly wallet-busting form of celebrity fetish. These good Samaritans have been donating for TwitChange, a new fundraiser aimed at helping those suffering from the earthquake in Haiti.
Eva is smart. She may not look so in this photo, but we promise you, she is. She knows, from the L’Oreal adverts, that she’s most certainly worth it. When we watched the video for the first time, we were so hypnotized that we saw her lips moving but didn’t hear any of the words. For all we know, she could’ve been campaigning to kill all the remaining pandas in the world and we’d have suddenly found ourselves at London Zoo, disorientated, with a cheese-wire in our hands in the middle of the bear enclosure. Now that would be going out in style.

Other celebrities taking part in the initiative include Ricky Martin, Nicole Richie, and that annoying little crooner Justin Bieber, whose bid to be followed currently stands at $2500. We’d pay double that just to ensure his songs were banned indefinitely. So we’re starting up our own website ButtonitBieber.com. Our target is £40 million. Please donate for this most desperate of causes.