Rihanna is a millionaire. “Of course she is”, you might well think, “she’s sold literally hundreds of records and done some gigs and that”. But that’s not what we mean. What we mean is this: Rihanna had her legs insured for a million dollars. A million big ones. $500k per pin. And now she’s bloody gone and lost them.
We don't know how or when this happened. We won't dwell on the possibly gruesome incident that caused Rihanna to be separated from her legs.
Here, Rihanna was filming the video for her new song What’s My Name? with her former squeeze Drake. As you can see, she was having a bit of a 'moment'. Most likely, the emotional pain of losing her beloved limbs is still pretty fresh and she's reliving all the great times they had together. She might have even been writing a little letter to her legs in her head, some extracts of which might've sounded like this:
Dear Legs,
I hope you are well my dear, dear friends. Words cannot describe how much I miss you. I yearn for you everyday. I dream that one day we will be reunited and can dance the dance of unconditional love once more.
That walk we had in the Lake District that one time was so lovely. We climbed Scafell Pike and settled down at the top with a hot chocolate from a flask and a two-finger KitKat. It was, undoubtedly, the best hot chocolate we've ever had.
Remember that time we danced all night in da club? We were so caught up in the enjoyment we completely lost track of the time. For that one perfect night, it felt like the rest of the world was just a small, insignificant spill on the dance floor of life. You kept me moving all night, my trusty steeds, and helped me stagger home safely, via Chicken Cottage. I cannot thank you enough.
I know that one day we shall be together again, my lovely legs. That day will complete me, both physically and metaphysically. I'll bring the Veet, you bring the Chicken Cottage.Until then, keep it kickin'
No comments:
Post a Comment